# Off-topic Rants

This is a truly fantastic short film about a man and women who stumble home drunk, after an obviously fun and alcohol filled night. Everything is going to plan for the two, as they enter an unlocked tennis court (after taking of their shoes as per the sign) and start making out passionately, until the lights turn on and all hell brakes loose. This film has a killer punch line and a completely unpredictable little twist. The sound design and musical score is fantastic – and is absolutely terrifying in sections. The acting is fantastic – you really love these characters even though this is a short film. The script and concept, although simple, is extremely effective. The visual effects are terrific, and are another stand out of the film. Overall, this is an amazingly faultless film and is truly entertaining.

I went into this film, just purely out of luck. I had a space free, and this film seemed the best out of the bunch in that timeslot. Luck was on my side this time, as Cages is a truly fantastic Belgium film, and is up there in my list of favourite films so far at the festival. The film opens by introducing Eve and Damien – two people who are obviously both passionately in love. Eve is a ambulance medic, who spends her work hours saving lives. Damien runs an unusual pub called The Zoo, where they host an annual content for the best animal noise. Their world is turned completely up-side-down when Eve is involved in an accident whilst at work, which results in her loosing her ability to speak. The silence soon becomes too much for Damien, and their relationship is seriously put to the test. He starts secretly seeing someone else. When their relationship is on the verge of suffocation, Eve takes drastic action, and in desperation to hang onto Damien she takes him prisoner – locking him up in his own home. This is an absolute thriller of a film, with some many things that are just completely unexpected. When the film looks as if it’s heading in one direction, it quickly surprises you and heads off somewhere else. From the moment the film starts, I feel in love with Eve. I think it was something about her eyes. She’s an amazing actor; her ability to say so much with no auditable words is truly incredible. The actor who played Damien was also spot on, although you can’t help but to feel strongly against his character as Eve is clearly the “good guy” despite her shady methods. This is also a really bizarre film – the animal mimicking show is seriously out there. The cinematography is fantastic – especially during these scenes. Some of the crane/helicopter shots of Eve and Damien on the hill overlooking the ocean are also breathtaking. The sound design was marvellous and did a great job and manipulating the audience’s perceptions. The blend between musical score, sound effects and live action was also incredible. I really loved the audio in one of the opening scenes, when the music suddenly dissipated, to reveal the sound of Eve performing CPR. The transition was great. I really enjoyed this film but there were some uncomfortable scenes – at one stage Eve pretty much rapes her husband, which seriously pushes her “good guy” status. This film was completely not what I expected – even when I was watching it, I kept thinking I had it all figured out, only to be proven seriously wrong. I find it really hard to fault this film. It’s an incredibly unique film, with a great script, executed perfectly.

A New Zealand film, Clean Linen is a peculiar film about two children who spend their days doing chores around the house and secretly watching their father’s pornography video collection. When they are caught by their mother, things are a bit heated in the house. Despite the fact that this was an interesting film to watch, I think I may have missed the point. I didn’t really get what the message behind the film was. None of the acting seemed that terrific, although there wasn’t much dialogue or action. The cinematography was noteworthy, with some very nice visuals of the house. Overall, this was a slightly entertaining piece – although not really my cup of tea.

This is a fantastic Australian film narrated by a teenager who tells a story from the past, about his neighbours – a similarly aged boy, with a Bogan father and a sexy mother that everyone wants to sleep with (especially the narrator himself). Told from the perspective of the narrator, this is a story of a confused boy, surrounded by sex and drugs, with no love in sight. The parents are always having sex (in easy hearing distance of their unfortunate child), and are constantly throwing huge parties, with all their Bogan friends. Things turn nasty with the cops turn up to one of the usual afternoon drinks, and the boy greets the cops with a crossbow. The acting in this film is superb, but what’s even more impressive is the narration. The film is gritty in style, with a very real suburban feel. You never quite know where the film is heading, or whether it going to end up happy or sad – it’s unpredictable and very well written. It’s a very cleaver concept that is executed perfectly.

I’ve never seen the first instalment of this Russian trilogy before, so maybe I’ve missed a lot of the back story to the Matrix-like film, Day Watch. Essentially, it’s a film about an age old battle between good vs. evil – light vs. dark. Anton (from the light side) wrestles with his loyalty to his dark-sided son and his loyalty to the Night Watch team (the good guys). Set in modern day Moscow, when vampires belonging to the Dark side start mysteriously being killed, and Anton is framed for their murders, he must forget about saving his son from the clutches of the baddies, and try and escape the Day Watch, which is looking for his blood. This is an ultra-modern film, with some amazing special effects. The computer generated landscapes are breathtaking, and the epic battles easily rival those of movies such as Lord of the Rings. Although the film is spoken in Russian, the subtitles are perhaps the highlight of the film. Unlike traditional subtitles, these ones interact with the action of the film, and help to propel the story along. The amazing use of type would make any typography teacher go bananas. There were some jokes throughout the film, that I think were “in jokes” – either referencing to previous films, or very specifically Russian jokes. However, there were plenty of moments for new-to-the-series viewers to enjoy. There was also perhaps the most amazing fast car sequence I’ve ever seen – although all visual effects, it was really impressive to see a car slide so unnaturally around corners, fly effortlessly through the air, drive around the walls of a building, smash through the window, and then hoon around the hallways. The look of the film was very unique, very modern, very bold and very prominent. It looked like a real action movie. The sound design was also really impressive – we great use of surround sound, especially when viewed in a big venue like The Regent. I must say, even without seeing the previous film, this is a really standout movie at the film festival – if only for the special effects alone.

Documentary filmmakers Debbie Melnyck and Rick Caine set out to make a relatively simple and straightforward documentary about their hero Michael Moore, but as they start filming and putting together the film, they soon discover that the Mr Moore isn’t all he’s cracked up to be. Just like Moore’s own film, Roger & Me, this film sees the filmmakers chasing an ever elusive interview with the man himself, facing obstacles and bulky body guards, as well as uncovering hidden and damning truths from opponents, collaborators and even friends. It’s really great to see someone has taken all of Moore’s tricks and methods, and then applied them to Moore himself. It’s also great to see that someone is challenging Moore and the way he makes films in a very intelligent and appropriate manner. This is a really clever concept, which is executed perfectly. It has some really great interviews with people that love and hate Moore, and challenges everything Moore has to say, and has said in the past. Although I wouldn’t say this film is unbiased – I’m sure the filmmakers got pretty pissed off with Mr Moore when he wouldn’t give them a proper sit down interview – it seems to simply give you the facts, and let you as the audience decide whether Moore is a goodie or a baddie. But really, who knows what was left on the cutting room floor…

Nothing really beats a film about some good old fashion rock rolling. As four men drive home after a failed skiing trip, they make a quick toilet stop along the way. This is where they discover the rock – a lanky bolder sitting on the edge of a cliff just waiting to be pushed over and sent down the hundreds of kilometres of mountain into a lake. But this particular rock just doesn’t want to budge. Apparently people have been trying to move it for years. But male pride prevents the team from giving up. This is a film about male bonding, and male ego, as the four are put to a series of physical and psychological tests as they try and send the rock flying. More and more cars pull up full of additional male arrogance, shovels and chain saws are obtained, even a donkey steps up to the challenge – but the bastard just won’t budge. I really enjoyed this film. Starting off as a human interest drama, as soon as the rock appears, classic comedy moments surface. This is a movie that I can really relate to. Right throughout the film I was honestly thinking – now, how would I move this rock? I’m not quite sure what it is about a rock sitting on the top of a hill, but for some reason it seems like human instinct to want to push it down. The only negative thing I have to say about this film was the subtitles. They were incredibly hard to read. But apart from that, this was a great film! Very simple – the look of the film was very rough, and gritty, as was the soundtrack, but it was a film about men trying to get a rock to roll so it was very appropriate. A masterpiece of Iran cinema!

Snow Angels is a naturalistic Canadian film that explores several different relationships that all interconnect in one way or another. Arthur is a trombonist for the high school, who is exploring his first real relationship with a new girl to the school, a photographer named Lila, while his parents are battling their way through a patchy separation. Meanwhile, Arthur’s co-worker and childhood baby sitter Annie is fighting off her alcoholic and potentially suicidal ex-husband who persists in re-entering her life, and that of their daughter. To add to the complications, Annie is sleeping with her best friend’s husband – her best friend also working with her and Arthur. This is an ultimately sad and depressing film about human suffering, personal connections, and the complexities of love and relationships. The film has an almost “Garden State” feel too it, without the comedy. Although there are some funny moments – most of which come from Arthur – this is essentially a sad story with a large amount of death involved. You become instantly attached to all of the characters, despite their obvious flaws. The acting is fantastic – you almost feel as if you’re watching real events, rather than a fictional story. This is a film about people, so you don’t really pay that much attention to the visuals, although everything is very beautiful – set in lush snowy locations. I really liked this film – although it’s hard to say that I enjoyed it. It was tremendously sad and gloomy, although there were signs of life and happiness. The music was very appropriate and added to the beauty of the film, but the characters are what made this film so special for me.

This is a very funny and essentially harmless film about the owner of an IT company that decides to sell up and move on, forcing to wheel out the CEO to sign on the dotted line, sealing the deal. Trouble is the supposed America-based CEO doesn’t really exist. He’s basically just an e-mail address that is created to take the blame for unpopular decisions. The solution that the owner comes up with, who claims to be just another white collar worker in the film, is to hire an actor to play the part in his devious charade. But, as the actor begins to slowly fit into his character, he becomes attached to his associates, and tries to convince the owner not to sell up. This is a very strange, yet incredibly entertaining film. Using a lot of very random camera angles and shots, as well as opening and closing with narration which talks about the fact that the film is a comedy – this is not your conventional film. The characters are all completely over-the-top, and definitely completely-and-utterly crazy – but are all very likable in a strange office co-worker kind of way. This is a very unique film, with a very unusual style. I really enjoyed it.

This is one of the more bizarre films I’ve seen at the festival. I’m not exactly sure what it was about. It wasn’t your traditional narrative. It was basically just a whole lot of beautifully crafted, and precisely framed long-takes of awkward, although mostly humorous, encounters involving a series of equally strange characters. The look and style of the film was very plain, minimal, and almost like that of a really low budget uncreative student film. Everything looked as if it was a studio set, and was purposely placed. This film was already incredibly funny – in a very weird sense. It reminded me of the great “cow bell” skit. These filmmakers must have had some serious patience and persistence. All of their jokes were incredibly subtle, and everything ran on for just those few minutes too long – but it uncomfortable to watch, yet at the same time, absolutely perplexing. I really enjoyed this film, and it’s very dry humour. It was seriously unusual – but very funny and unpredictable.